Optional Tutorial Topics

Along with the Recommended Readings the following will give you a sense of the types of topics this tutorial addresses. You may do the tutorial just to address a specific issue of your own.

• I would like to find someone to marry.

• I have a great relationship, we are considering marriage. I have some concerns.

• I would like to find someone to date but I insist on no sex.

• I am single and would like to find someone to date, with the possibility of sex, but with no agreement to marry.

• Should I tell my wife about my adultery—if yes, how?

• I have reason to believe my partner is hiding something from me.

• I want to get my husband to open up to me.

• My spouse and I are planning to divorce. I'd like some support in how to do it amicably with love and without attorneys.

• I want a divorce and my spouse doesn't.

• My spouse doesn't know I'm very unhappy.

• I want a divorce. I know my spouse will get very upset when I break the news.

• I am married. I'm thinking about getting a divorce. I have not told my spouse.

• I'm having an affair with someone I want to marry. My spouse does not know this.

• I want support in how to break the news that....

• I am seeing a married person who is unhappily married.

• I want support in bringing about the ideal solution for everyone.

• I am presently divorced. I am looking for a permanent relationship with the possibility of marriage.

• I have been married twice. I am presently divorced. I am looking for a permanent relationship with the possibility of marriage.

• I have been married several times. I am presently divorced. I am looking for a permanent relationship with the possibility of marriage.

• I am divorced/separated and I'm having a problem relating with my ex about the children.

• I'd like some support. I am single. I'd like to have a loving relationship. I have,

1) a disability.

2) an embarrassing secret.

3) a police record.

4) other _______.

• I am a "closet" gay and would like some support coming out.

• I want to propose a prenuptial agreement with my fiancé but I'm afraid....

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Other Topics:

Conversations to have with your fiancé.

A list of 15 topics of conversations to have with your fiancé. Each topic includes personal coaching, before, during, and after each conversation.

The content, the subject matter, is not the important thing with these topics. If you are able to have these kinds of conversations before the marriage it will eliminate many arguments later.

If you are afraid to talk about some of these topics you will not be able to sustain the experience of love and satisfaction in your marriage.

Three examples:

1) To spank or not spank our children?

2) Shall we have a prenuptial agreement (a document that outlines the splitting of the possessions in the event of a divorce) or not?

3) What is cheating? Will cheating be allowed/forgiven, if so how many times?

Spanking:

Just what are you going to do if your spouse spanks your child and refuses to get counseling?

Perhaps you grew up in a household where spanking was not considered abusive, you might believe that some judicial spanking is OK, but only if it's necessary. Have you told your fiancé, who might believe in "absolutely no-spanking," this is your belief?

How does one create a context at the beginning of a relationship to preclude the necessity for spanking?

Prenuptial agreement:

Is your mind open to conversations about a prenuptial agreement or have you unconsciously shut down the space for any communication to take place.

Discovered too late, your spouse's beliefs, could be the beginning of the end of the marriage.

Cheating:

Does your partner agree with ex Pres. Bill Clinton, that he did not have sex? Ask. Get absolutely clear about this. It's a biggie. If you don't ask it could be they'll pull the same one on you. "Well, I thought because you never made an issue of it that you knew that oral sex isn't really sex." The majority of the people in the US agree that that behavior is acceptable. Even Hillary let him get away with it without making him apologize to her and the nation on TV.

This topic includes a marriage vow that absolutely precludes cheating.

And, 12 more stimulating topics:

Once you have registered to do the tutorial you are encouraged to make a copy of the conversation topics and share them with your fiancé.

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How to tell the status of your relationship:

Is it growing and expanding, is it on a plateau, or is it on the decline?

Two thirds of all marriages end up in unpleasant divorces. Few see it coming before it's too late. All divorces began with incident number one. Few know how to recognize and clean up the first incident.

How do relationships start out being great and then end up terrible? Does it happen overnight or gradually? Does it begin with issue #1 and never recovers from that incident?

Would you be surprised to know that the end began with the first conversation that did not turn out mutually satisfying? With the help of a coach you can find the incident at the beginning of your relationship, it's called an incomplete, that, unbeknownst to you, is the seed for your eventual divorce, and, that you can clean it up?

Did you know that if you are working on relationship #2 and you have not identified the exact conversation that became the turning point in relationship #1 you will recreate the conversation in this one. Never in 30 years of coaching have I found a divorced person who could not find the number #1 incident that they unconsciously used to destroyed their marriage.

Did you know that when you begin to have thoughts about splitting you'll use the same communication model that destroyed the relationship to argue the settlement. Albert Einstein said that it's futile to use the mind that created the problem to solve the problem.

How to attract/create the ideal partner:

An outline for an awesomely challenging and rewarding communication-skills curriculum.

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Even more topics:

Is there someone in your life who is consciously or unconsciously thwarting/hexing you, your success and happiness—perhaps your ex or a parent?

Are you happy now or are you waiting for a partner to be happy?

Do you know you need therapy and you are not getting it? Would another or others say you need therapy?

Do you have perpetrations for which you have yet to be acknowledged, or for which you have not made good?

For example:

• Did you cheat in high school and you have not yet acknowledged it to the teacher?

• Have you stolen something and you have not somehow made restitution?

• Has your partner done something unethical/illegal and you have remained silent?

• Have you lied or deceived a parent/partner and you have not yet told them?

• Have you destroyed a previous relationship and you have not acknowledged to yourself, and your former partner, that you did it?

• Perhaps you are still blaming the old partner, wanting them to take 50% of the responsibility?

• Do you have a supportive loving relationship with both parents or is it pretty much a mess?

Test: Do you want your children to grow up to be like, or to not be like, your parents?

Will you be introducing your loved one to abusive parents, virtually forcing them to relate with people you don't respect and admire, expecting him/her to compromise their integrity, so as to stay married to you? In other words, if you haven't presented an ultimatum to your parents, "Get abuse therapy." or, "Stop drinking." "I'll not share my loved one and grandchildren with you until you do." then you will not have the skills to do it when it comes time to insist the same of your spouse. I say "when" because it's for certain you will attract an equally abusive spouse.

Do you deserve a magnificent relationship or do you know you need to work on your karma? (what would an ex-partner say?)

If your answer is yes to any of the above, you need to complete these communications or you'll never experience sustained love and happiness. This tutorial will support you in completing such things.

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